


So adorable it hurts

by hajne



Category: Historical Criminals RPF, True Crime - Fandom
Genre: DDR, Internal Conflict, M/M, OMC is 13 years old, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:34:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajne/pseuds/hajne
Summary: He had been trying not to look at Mike dancing, just anywhere else. He was staring into his lap when he noticed the boy’s dark hoodie lying next to him on the bench. He grabbed it, buried his face in it, and inhaled deeply. Instant hard-on. He threw it back, disgusted with himself, and closed his eyes, but the heady scent lingered in his brain.
Relationships: Adam Lanza/Original Male Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	So adorable it hurts

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is about Adam Lanza and a thirteen-year-old boy. If you’re uncomfortable with it (which is understandable), please, do not read it!
> 
> DDR = Dance Dance Revolution, a music video game where you jump/dance on a platform as precisely as possible to get the best score. Adam used to play it on a machine at the local movie theater where this story takes place.

Adam was driving towards the dying sunset. This was the only form in which he actually liked the sun; slowly, but steadily dying, posing no threat. The road was deserted, and no music was on; only him and the soft humming of his car. The days had been getting bleaker lately and the thoughts darker any minute, and Adam hoped that DDR will cheer him up. It had worked so far, but he had an ominous feeling its miraculous effect won’t last forever, given his current state; it could at least make things bearable, though. Was he asking for that much?

Adam parked the car and headed for the main entrance. The dusk had already fallen and the peachy sky above the movie theater was covered with plum-colored clouds, moving fast and darkening before his eyes. The view was menacing in an oddly soothing way, and Adam saved the mental image of it before he entered the building.

The 8 o’clock movies had just started, so there was not much of a crowd around. Just faint music mingled with the voices, but as he approached the part of the lobby with the DDR machine, the music was getting louder as well as the rapid footsteps. He couldn’t properly see the guy dancing since he was wearing a hoodie with the hood on, but he was moving fast. Not as fast as him, though, making too many unnecessary moves. They’re slowing you down, buddy, you‘ll have to eliminate those. But the person didn’t seem to care.

When Adam purchased the tokens, the song was still on. So he watched.

The person was a lot smaller but almost as skinny, and the oversized hoodie (a dark purplish color, same as the clouds he saw before) was falling from his shoulders in the same fashion. But his moves were more joyful, less deliberate, and the longer Adam watched him, the more fascinated yet somehow unnerved he was becaming. He started pulling on the hem of his sleeve to steady his nerves, and his eyes flew to the exit door. Maybe he should-

The music ended abruptly and the person turned around.

From under the hood, a pair of dark eyes met his, and he forgot about leaving. A boy, maybe thirteen, with freckled pale cheeks tinged with a peachy shade from dancing. He glanced at him through his eyelashes before heading for the nearby bench. Adam realized he’d been staring at him and shuffled for his phone to look occupied, but he couldn’t take his eyes off him.

The kid stripped off his hoodie, briefly revealing a stripe of white skin. The t-shirt underneath was bright red with a cartoon cat on it and way too tight even for someone as thin, maybe his childhood favorite he refused to get rid of. Not like he wasn’t a child anymore... But he sure made an impression of someone who had grown a lot in a relatively short time. After his fingers combed the silky strands of his dark hair and parted them on the side, he grabbed a bottle of soda from his backpack and sipped. Adam watched as his lips encircled the neck of the bottle, and it shouldn’t make him feel that warm. Their eyes met.

“Hey. Are you gonna play?“ the kid said after he had swallowed and gave him a shy smile. "It's yours if you want."

Adam just stared at him, dumbstruck, and the boy had to hold back giggles.

“No, thanks. I mean, hi,“ Adam finally managed to say but kept fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I was planning to but I don’t need to, not really.“

“C’mon, you already have the tokens“ Smiling, he nodded towards Adam’s sweaty hand that was clutching the tokens as if his life depended on them. “I need a break anyway.“

"Alright, thanks. I....thanks.“ Maybe he better leave this awkward conversation.

He walked to the DDR machine, and, fingers shaking, he inserted the tokens...

The silence after the end of the song came as a surprise. He didn’t even realize he had been dancing but his ragged breathing and the score on the screen showed he did, and pretty good actually. The limbs seemed to do their work without his volition.

Another surprise was that the boy stayed.

“Wow, you’re...you’re fast, man!“ The kid was beaming and looking up at him like an apt pupil. “And you don’t even look tired! I suck at a perfect attack, how you do it?“

Adam was flattered, the feeling both pleasant and uncomfortable. “Um...thanks. Well, I’m here a lot, almost every weekend.“ He sat down on the bench. Not that he was tired, he just felt awkward standing there. “I haven’t been around for quite a while, though, I’ve been dealing with kind of a personal crisis...“ Adam trailed off and quickly changed the subject “- Plus I have a pad at home.“

“No kidding! I would die for one of those.“ The kid didn’t notice that oversharing slip, or he didn’t care and even made an eager step towards him. “We used to have a DDR machine at the arcade! But it shut down last year, it was a really old school place which was kinda cool but it was almost empty all the time...,“ he fired off, his eyes flickering all around the room and reflecting the lights. He was standing rather close, his lean torso dominating Adam’s view. “I’ve never been here before. My parents and I are just visiting my aunt here but I’m glad I got out... I mean - I like my family, but my mom loves to argue over nonsense. Usually, I play video games when she’s in that mood but I don’t have anything here so…” He trailed off and lowered his gaze to the bottle he was still holding. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this...“ He chuckled but his eyes searched Adam’s for a confirmation that he didn’t bore him to death.

“I’m Adam.“

The boy’s lips widened in a grin. “I’m Mike!“

He tried to smile, too, and Mike didn’t run away in horror, so he probably achieved his goal.

“Well, parents can be difficult to deal with. All adults, I’d say.“

“Exactly! They always try to push me into doing something they want,“ he blurted, encouraged by Adam’s friendliness. “Like, I hate baseball, but my dad‘s into it, he almost made it to the league when he was young, which was like a hundred years ago, so now I have to play it, too...“

Adam wanted to tell him things will get better with time, but he wasn‘t sure about that himself.

He couldn't tell the poor kid that.

“No one cares what I want," Mike continued, "I suck at it and the coach treats me like shit but when I told my parents I want to switch to drama class, my dad almost went berserk...“ He rolled his eyes and gazed at the ceiling, probably contemplating the lameness of his parents.

Adam felt for him, for his struggle.

He also felt the heat radiating from his body. Mike was standing so close his legs were almost brushing Adam’s knees. A waft of a scent hit him, some washing powder mixed with a faint trace of sweat, and for a moment his eyes fluttered shut. Then they slid to the boy’s stomach; it was at the level of his eyes, so there was nothing weird about it. Maybe just the urge to roll up the red t-shirt and bite the side of his waist. Adam felt warmth spreading to all the wrong places and licked his lips.

”... I mean, what’s wrong with drama class? It‘s not hurting anyone, it‘s my business, right?"

Mike looked at him again and, for a moment, seemed to be puzzled by Adam’s expression. Then, a knowing smirk appeared on his face.

Adam felt naked. Exposed. Busted. “I - that’s a battle all people have to go through at the start of their lives,“ he spilled out blushing, trying to look and sound as composed and innocent as possible. “Most of them don’t make it and grow up to be slaves to society, therefore unhappy… But you seem bright, you question authority, respect your own morals, that’s... That’s a good start. How- How old are you anyway?“

The boy was studying him openly, making Adam squirm, and then he tilted his head to the side. “Does it really matter, _Adam?“_ The tone of his voice was suddenly way too adult, but Adam could overlook neither the blush crawling up those adorable cheeks nor those sparks in his eyes.

“It... It does not.“

Mike gave him a frisky smile and skipped away, back to the DDR machine, and soon the cheerful music filled the room. It was mocking him.

He had been trying not to look at Mike dancing, just anywhere else. He was staring into his lap when he noticed the boy’s dark hoodie lying next to him on the bench. He grabbed it, buried his face in it, and inhaled deeply. Instant hard-on. He threw it back, disgusted with himself, and closed his eyes, but the heady scent lingered in his brain.

“How did I go this time?“

The music was gone. Mike was now standing so close their legs were touching, and his eyes were burning Adam’s.

”You’re...pretty,“ he exhaled. “Pretty good. Dancer, I mean. I- I have to go to the bathroom.“

Adam got up and tried his best to act and look normal. To remain some dignity. He didn’t succeed.

During the first few visits, Adam would rather drive home than use the public restroom, but over the weeks, he somehow overcame the repulsion. The light waft of disinfection didn’t bother him at all, it meant the place was clean. Now it also meant he didn’t smell Mike anymore.

His reflection in the mirror was a wide-eyed mess. He splashed his face with icy water and the shock calmed him down. It didn’t resolve his boner, though. It wasn’t like him to be so _comfortable_ around someone, let alone someone who he had met just an hour ago. Yet here he was, hard and blushing.

And although he was okay with people of any age getting physical as long as it was consensual, this was something else. This was about him. He made peace with being gay years ago but not with the fact he might like them younger. Honestly, it only crossed his mind in those moments before climax, when he looked away from the boring porn on the screen and closed his eyes, imagining some boy kneeling naked in front of him, looking up at him with big puppy eyes, never shaven yet smooth face covered with...

Someone pulled at his sleeve.

Mike was looking up at him through his eyelashes, his pink lips parted.

He looked like a porcelain doll.

He seemed to want to say something. But then he stood on tiptoe, drew Adam closer by the front of his hoodie, and before Adam even realized what was happening, Mike’s lips were on his.

His body shivered at that sudden touch. Mike’s hand slightly trembled on his chest, and Adam let him plant small clumsy pecks on his lips, but something forbid him to return them. It just couldn’t be right, touching someone so perfect, so immaculate. It felt like sacrilege, and his conscience was already severely flawed. It took all his willpower to take advantage of his height and pull away, but when he did so, the wounded look in Mike‘s eyes almost broke his heart.

“Please...,“ Mike whispered and he pulled him closer again. The kisses were still chaste but then Mike poked out his tongue and gave Adam’s lips a teasing lick.

 _Screw this_. He slid his hands into Mike’s hair and finally fully tasted the lips he had been craving since he first saw him. They were soft and sweet from the soda, just as he imagined. 

Mike whimpered and flung his arms around Adam’s neck, sliding his tongue into his mouth in a way that was clumsy, obscene, and desperate, and it made Adam realize he had been desperate, too. Those last months, hell, his whole life had been so bleak and dull, depressing without relief, and now he was being kissed by a boy who brightened all that awful stuff going on in his head. He finally felt alive.

Adam gently tugged at his hair and Mike moaned openly, making Adam hope they were alone in there. The boy was so pliant and shaky in his arms he had to slide his hands onto his lower back to support him. As he did so, the boy’s smallish hard-on pressed against his thigh.

Mike broke the kiss at once and held onto Adam as if he was afraid he‘d leave. “I’m sorry - it‘s just...I really like you”

“Don’t...“ Adam said in a husky voice, “...don’t apologize“. He slid his palm to the boy’s groin and lightly caressed him through his jeans. Mike buried his head in Adam’s hoodie and the muffled moan he made was the most delicious sound Adam had ever heard. He was so adorable it hurt, all flushed and willing, standing just on the borderline between innocence and lewdness.

“Are you sure you want this?“

Mike looked up at him with watery eyes and nodded eagerly.

“But have you ever...you know, anything?“

“I- No...," he stuttered, lowering his gaze.

Mike's reaction hit Adam hard. Did he truly feel ashamed that he’s inexperienced? At his age? Which is... how much, exactly? Is this why he wants it? The possibility alone was unbearable.

But Mike didn't share his hesitation in the slightest. “Please... just _touch me_ ,“ he whined, and as he pressed their bodies together, Adam’s hard-on rubbed against the boy’s stomach.

He shuddered and exhaled an almost painfully sounding moan into the boy's hair. Grabbing his hand, he dragged Mike to the last cubicle in the row.

The moment he slammed the door shut behind them, Adam pinned him to the door with a force that made him squeak. It surprised Adam, too: of course, he got horny sometimes, but he had never felt such a _craving_. He bent his knees to be closer to him and licked a broad stripe up his neck, and it made Mike tremble and moan so beautifully a grown-up man never would.

He slid under his t-shirt and felt the warm, smooth skin underneath his palm rise and fall with his rapid breathing. Then he dared lower and unzipped his jeans. 

“A-Adam...“, Mike whined when Adam’s fingers traced the clothed line of his cock. It was just his name, yet it was the most desperate plea Adam had ever heard.

"Shhh... It's okay," he whispered and gave him a few strokes through his underwear. The fabric was already soaking wet and Mike sobbed shakily with every small movement of his hand. _Jesus_. He slid under the waistband.

The direct skin on skin contact, combined with the sounds Mike was making, forced him to close his eyes shut and concentrate on not coming. God, he wasn't a frustrated teen anymore, his body shouldn't react so out of control anymore. But maybe he just hadn't had the right stimulus until now. After he finally put himself together, his fingers encircled Mike's wet and soft cock and started moving, first caressing the head and then slowly pumping. Mike clung to him with his forehead on his chest and arms around his neck, and his moans warmed that empty yet sore place inside Adam’s chest.

He didn't even pick up any speed, but the quickening string of small, high-pitched whines escaping that very biteable throat told him the boy‘s already close nevertheless.

“I’m… I’m gonna...“ Mike sobbed and looked up at Adam as if searching for his approval.

The boy seemed to be on the verge of crying, and it made Adam so achingly close again. He only managed to give Mike a shaky nod and sped up the strokes while rubbing himself through his jeans with the other hand, and feeling Mike spill warm all over his fingers, sobbing and moaning his name, sent him over the edge, too, with his face buried in Mike's soft hair.

They held each other and their breathing eventually started to calm down. Adam straightened up, his knees and back were killing him, and Mike suddenly looked so small, like the child he was. Adam will sure feel guilty later, but for now, the guilt could wait.

Mike slowly raised his head and gave him a smile so sweet and warm it made him genuinely smile, too. For the first time in a long, long time, he felt neither awkward nor anxious, not at all. He felt happy.

Mike glanced at his geeky Super Mario watch (who wears watches these days?). “They’re gonna kill me,” he whispered but still smiling. Panic can evidently wait, too.

“I can give you a ride if you want.”

“I don’t know, I really shouldn’t be getting in a car with a stranger. “

They kissed. 

Adam was driving beneath the night sky. Among the dark clouds, one could see a few shy stars. The road was deserted, and no music was on, but a faint tune and small moans still echoed in Adam’s ears. On the passenger seat lied a dark purple hoodie.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what being sober and clean for one whole year does to you. Beware.
> 
> I presume Adam Lanza was a boylover. I can’t explain why I find it interesting, but if you have some insight on it which you consider not very widely held or even known, please, PM me.
> 
> there -might- be a sequel


End file.
